www.russstedman.com

Former Zappa guitarist Mike Keneally contemplates some Russ Stedman CDs:

Former Zappa guitarist Mike Keneally contemplates eating some Russ Stedman CDs:

The Best Of Russ Stedman (1987-2008) streaming from
the Internet Archive (www.archive.org)

VOLUME 1 -

01-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Love Under.mp3
02-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Let Me Melt.mp3
03-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Grey.mp3
04-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-I Must Be Mad.mp3
05-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-The Ritual.mp3
06-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-One More Dose Of Your Love.mp3
07-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Paranoid Romantic.mp3
08-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Betty Crocker.mp3
09-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-This Is My Life.mp3
10-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Happy Holidays.mp3
11-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-My Summer Picture Of You.mp3
12-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Such A Nice Girl.mp3
13-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-I Miss The Shit Out Of You.mp3
14-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Package Vs. Product.mp3
15-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Hotel Room.mp3
16-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-I Felt Like We Lived By The Ocean.mp3
17-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 1 (1987-1989)-Cunt Cemetery.mp3

Tracks on this volume are taken from the following albums:

01-03 "History of a Year & Other Assorted Songs" (1987)
04-07 "Uniform Zoo Loo" (1988)
08 "Man" (1988)
09-10 "Grate To Be Alive" (1988)
11-13 "Someday I'll Be Made Of Rubber" (1988)
14 "Someone's Been Sleeping In My Bed" (1988)
15 "I Don't Give A Fuck If You Like It Or Not" (1988)
16 "Everyday Life & Sunday Afternoons" (1989)
17 "Out Of Body Experience" (1989)

VOLUME 2 -

01-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Translation Snakes.mp3
02-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-If I Was A Carpenter.mp3
03-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-There's A Little Bubba In All Of Us.mp3
04-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Cold Sweat.mp3
05-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Last Laugh.mp3
06-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Eugene V. Debs.mp3
07-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Send Me Some Sand.mp3
08-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Pippin Saves The Day.mp3
09-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Boy Crazy.mp3
10-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Beanstalk.mp3
11-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Mom's Dead.mp3
12-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Action Potato.mp3
13-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-Stop Playing Music.mp3
14-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 2 (1989-1993)-CD Technology.mp3

Tracks on this volume are taken from the following albums:

01 "Translation Snakes" (1989)
02-03 "Hi Honey...Drop Dead" (1989)
04-05 "Onionz" (1990)
06-08 "Good Food, Fine Drinks" (1991)
09-11 "Laughter In The Cabbage Patch Again" (1992)
12-13 "Stop Playing Music" (1992)
14 "3" (1993)

Lyrics to "There's A Little Bubba In All Of Us" - Brad Bennett

VOLUME 3 -

01-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Walking Man.mp3
02-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Going Against.mp3
03-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Got Religion.mp3
04-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Your Life Will End After High School.mp3
05-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Bret Hart.mp3
06-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-The Earl Peel Museum.mp3
07-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Non-Smoking Aria.mp3
08-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-The Orange Guitar Solo.mp3
09-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Sly's Mom.mp3
10-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-The Radio Is Melting.mp3
11-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Cosmos (Shop Vac).mp3
12-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Oscillate Wildly.mp3
13-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Tonight.mp3
14-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Skyrockets.mp3
15-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 3 (1993-1996)-Vampire Girls.mp3

Tracks on this volume are taken from the following albums:

01-03 "Here's Your Change" (1993)
04-06 "Bloated & Pretentious" (1994)
07-08 "Mormon Cookin'" (1994)
09 "Shark Hospital" (1994)
10 "Greetings From Stoner's Landing" (1994)
11-12 "Oscillate Wildly" (1995)
13-15 "Run Down To The Butcher Shop And Buy Me A Rose" (1996)

VOLUME 4 -

01-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Don't Shit In My Garden Of Eden.mp3
02-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-My Soul Has Risen.mp3
03-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Miss Self Destruction.mp3
04-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Ashamed.mp3
05-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-The Tree That Is Your Love.mp3
06-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Mission Statement.mp3
07-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-It's Tonight.mp3
08-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Waiting For Your Time To Break.mp3
09-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Dieville.mp3
10-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Calling Shotgun.mp3
11-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Hexidecimal Color Chart.mp3
12-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Dummy Up.mp3
13-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Mark Russell.mp3
14-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Where'd His Other Glove Go.mp3
15-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Smoke Some Weed.mp3
16-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Love Comes Clean.mp3
17-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Jerry Falwell's Dead.mp3
18-Russ Stedman-The Best Of Russ Stedman - Volume 4 (1996-2008)-Keep Your Religion Out Of My Government.mp3

Tracks on this volume are taken from the following albums:

01 "The Substandard Experience" (1996)
02-03 "Cracked" (1999)
04-05 "Panic" (2000)
06-07 "Destroy The Original" (2002)
08 "Strawberries Magnification ep" (2002)
09-11 "Geography Amongst Others" (2002)
12-15 "Duct Tape Shall Make You Free" (2004)
16 "Dumb Stupid" (2006)
17-18 "Fear Of A Podunk Planet" (2008)

Lyrics to "Miss Self Destruction" - Scott Johnson

How I wrote a song that Leonard Nimoy recorded a year before I was born...

This story begins with me engaging in that most bored of pursuits : searching my own name on Google. On this particular search, I ran across this entry a few pages in...

Huh? What kind of horrible mistake could this possibly be...and why? I click the link and get this :

Track 14, Eh? What could it be?

Suddenly, I knew exactly how this great miscarriage of songwriting credit had taken place. It was a simple problem of grammar!

In 1968, (1 year before I was born) the "Two Sides of Leonard Nimoy" album was released. It featured, among other treats, Mr. Spock's take on the Tim Hardin standard "If I WERE a Carpenter"

In 1989, I released my "Hi Honey...Drop Dead" cassette, which contained my original song "If I WAS a Carpenter", a silly little song full of bad puns and a backhanded tribute to Karen Carpenter, which went like this :

Oh, if I had a hammer
I'd make those fuckers pay
And if I had a Mastercard
I'd use it every day
And if I had a Visa
I'd leave this country right away
And if I was a Carpenter
I'd slowly waste away....

(etc..)

I had purposly called the song "If I WAS a Carpenter" as a play on words against Hardin's "If I WERE a Carpenter".

Flash forward to 1993. I was still living in Mitchell, SD. A very boring little town of about 14,000. I was very bored most of the time, and when I wasn't writing or recording music, I was usually performing various other "pretend promotional" tasks for my music.

In 1993 I decided I was going to register all of my songs with BMI (Broadcast Music Inc.), the organization responsible for paying artists royalties for radio play of their music. I knew that no radio stations were or would ever be playing my music, but I figured WHAT THE FUCK? Putting ©1993 Russ Stedman (BMI) on all my tapes looked real official and bitchen.

So, let's take a trip to the online BMI archive :

Searching for "If I WERE a Carpenter" yeilds this:

Searching for "If I WAS a Carpenter"...

You get...

So. Whoever threw together this...

...cheesey little compilation of music performed (badly) by former Star Trek actors...well, they just got the grammar wrong, and now I have this :

...which of course I ran straight to eBay and picked up a copy of. How could I resist? There I am...right next to Lennon/McCartney for flip sake!

In closing, I would like to mention that I have never been a Star Trek fan, to the point of never even having seen a full episode at any time in my life. My only exposure to it was going to see the "Wrath Of Kahn" movie, at which I slipped on the freshly mopped theater floor on the way in and bashed the hell out of my knee.

P.S. : You can download the entire "Hi Honey, Drop Dead" album here. If you want to hear "Spaced Out", you're on your own.